Thursday, 17 March 2011

Finally a Solution-Part1

Finally a solution Part 1

CWG,Adarsh ,2 G spectrum ,Karnataka land scam ,Housing loan scam , ISRO scam etc etc and the list goes on .This id not a comprehensive list , not even if we are considering only the last few months. Corruption is seen everywhere around the world, but the most disturbing part of these scams if the fact that the big political public figures involved in these are going to go no where. The politicians will get elected back from their respective seats. According to one estimate if we were to save money from the only the scams listed below , we would be able to distribute thousands of rupees to each and everyone in this country , just like that . So why do the people of this country keep electing the corrupt back to the office , are they so gullible to be swayed by their hollow arguments ,are they such simpletons to be fooled by them all the time , are they naive or just plain stupid.

My grand old man once said to me 'Never in history , and very unlikely in future, is the number of intelligent people more than the others'. In other words the smart have always been in minority. And looking at the current state of India's parliament I have come to agree with him. One of India's greatest principle has become the biggest hindrance, that being universal adult franchise - one vote for every person above 18.

Now that we have found out the issue lets try and resolve it.

The men who formed the constitution of this country were learned and wise men , and they had foreseen this problem. They provided with a mechanism to limit the damage this might cause. When the provided the people of India with the principle of universal suffrage, two kinds were deliberately excluded . One , the convicts and second the mentally unsound . And so we have our solution , we should by all means stop mentally unsound people from choosing just about anybody to the parliament.

According to a study conducted by a very renowned wise person (yours truly) , it has been observed that with the arrival of the new age there has been an advent of new kinds of mental illnesses. For the benefit of the country we will have to help the patients with such illnesses and till then not let their error in judgment hurt the future of the nation.

Let us then see some of the biggest and the most prominent of these illnesses.

IWTBOTV or IB syndrome.

IWTBOTV ( I Want To Be On TV) is a mental condition where in people of various ages have been found to leave their normal peaceful life for the rigors of reality tv shows. At the initials stages the patient is found to be glued to the Idiot box ( hence also called IB ) for hours watching saas, bahu, ro(w)dies , big boss , swayamvar etc etc . The patients symptoms include the following illusions : all reality shows are real and are not scripted , plastic surgery is the biggest trade in India and is available at every nook and corner , people can live for 200 years , people can die and come back , people get really fall in love on tv shows and get married and such others . After years of research yours truly has found out the original source and the mother carrier of the virus causing this disease. This creature has been going around in the celluloid world spreading this disease . The creature goes by the name Rakhi ' look at me ' Sawant . It s believed that the virus is a mutated form of another virus which too was seen very recently on Indian shores . The carrier creature of this virus goes by the name Pam 'look at my ' Anderson .

The origins of the virus is being also traced back to a special bio-technology lab some where in remote Pakistan . According to our secret sources in the county's (un)Intelligent services , this particular virus is a revenge act against India's act of planting Asif ali (Mr 10%) Zardari virus in Pakistan.

The patients in the later stages of this disease are believed to lose and idea of difference between reality and TV , and in such cases important information is impossible to reach their brains. According to our study majority of the patients infected by this virus believed Hillary Clinton was Michelle Obama's mother-in-law.

ASS syndrome

ASS or 'AM Super Start ' syndrome functions in ways mostly seen in the auto immune diseases , in which body's immune system starts attacking the healthy cells thereby creating great damage. In the ASS syndrome the psychologists believe that the person's confidence in himself grows so strong that it starts losing all its other healthy senses . The patients are believed to look normal outwardly , but a closer look gives away the symptoms quite clearly . It is believe to affect both men and women equally . Some men affected by such disease are found confidently walking on the pavements at noon in summer time with leather jacket on them . And others are found sporting goggles at 7 pm inside a restaurant . Some others were seen arguing with waiters and teaching them how to wait on a table .These are but a few symptoms among men, other symptoms could range from believing that they can teach the the current prime minister about governance, teach aamir khan about acting and teach sachin tendulkar about batting. They can also be seen wearing pink jeans and telling you they can carry it off .

Among females the symptoms are similar but the most apparent ones are in those where in the girls or women wear loud make up and bright dresses even on regular days. Such patients are believed to have lost the sense of the phrase 'looking hot' . They have come to belive that inducing pain and burns to the eyes of every onlooker is what it means to look hot . In such cases the people around them are justified in wearing goggles or glares in self preservation.

A very high profile case infected by this syndrome has recently been reported to us . The patient is called Nimnesh Neshmiyan . He is reported to be acting like an ASS for some time now . He is being studied as an extreme case , one who has lost his sense of listening, one who has forgotten the use of throat for singing and use of brains before talking. The worst symptom is the fact that he has started considering himself an actor . He is been blamed of inflicting the cruel pain on people of watching an ASS on the big screen.

People are requested not to laugh or pass comments on such patients as these patients in all honestly have no idea of them being an ASS .

To be Continued....


Kumars said...

didnt get tine to read ur while bolg..

but reply to ur first para..

these corrupt are elected back..
bcoz so called smart people like us are not ready to take this up..
we like to discuss n write blogs on such matter instead of getting on the field..!!
Whom we are going to vote when not even a single candidate with clean image is available ?
so you have 2 options either vote 1 of them or sit at home..
3rd option is not into consideration by all !!

Charanya Kannan said...

'Never in history , and very unlikely in future, is the number of intelligent people more than the other- yeah quite true! I think these two categories anyway abstain from voting, so keeping them away from the polls, can't say how far it will help! Instead there could be some reality show on corruption! that way atleast the first category can be involved :)Curious to see what are the other catogories!


nicely written...specially that ASS syndrome !!!

Srividhya said...

Jus started to read your Blogs Pavi.. Nice. I am one of those many , fed up with these scams..will try to keep follwing.. -Vidhu

Varun said...

Brilliantly written! Looking forward to part-2

Mukund said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mukund said...

There is another term for such ppl: pseuds!
Nice article - keep it real!